


The List

by JollyCat



Series: Paper Games [2]
Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 18:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4845884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JollyCat/pseuds/JollyCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick and Sean have realised how they feel about each other but now Nick's panicking - perhaps writing down his worries will help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The List

**Author's Note:**

> This follows on immediately from 'A Hobby for the Captain'.

Nick has absolutely no idea what to do next and he is, frankly, terrified. Five hours before, he and Sean had brought down a drug-fuelled Zauberbiest and had then fallen into each other's arms. It had been just like the final scene of the type of romantic movie Nick claims never to have watched. All might have been well if they could have gotten away somewhere private straight away (though his mind shies away from what they might have done in the somewhere private) but instead they had to come here, to the precinct, for interviews, follow-up, paperwork. Sean in his office, Nick at his desk and as time has gone by the nerves have grown and grown.

Hank is long gone. Nick has also finished all he has to do but just leaving and going home feels wrong. Sean still seems deep in work, on the phone, people in and out of his office. And what happens when he does come out of his office? Nick feels the panic rise again.

He can't just sit here doing nothing. He pulls his notebook towards him, turns to the back (he must remember to take this page out before he submits his notes into evidence) and picks up a pen. Perhaps if he tries to put down all his worries, all the complications, on paper they will seem more manageable.

_1\. Sean is my boss._

_2\. Sean is the male version of a hexenbiest and I think hexenbiests are devious, deceitful and dangerous._

_3\. Sean is also Royal and I think they are devious, deceitful and dangerous too. _

_4\. Sean was obsessed with my girlfriend, admittedly as the result of a spell._

_5\. Sean probably slept with Juliette after she left me._

He pauses at that one, yes, he's knows that Juliette went to Sean and the mood she was in, she would have slept with him.

 _6\. Sean tried to have one of my closest relatives killed_.

He's forgiven Sean for Aunt Marie really though, knows she would have chopped Sean's head off without a second thought. Maybe this isn't a major one. He pauses for a second but decides not to cross it out.

_7\. My child and Sean's child have the same mother._

There should be a word for that, Nick thinks, it can't be that uncommon a situation these days.

_8\. Sean is a man._

Well, after all the others that one seems quite straightforward. The other night, training in the forest, he had kissed Sean. It had been the merest brush of lips, in the dark so he could claim it was a mistake if necessary, but kissing worked the same with a man. Everything else, though, how is that going to work? Socially and (he can feel himself actually blushing just at the thought) physically. There had been that time at college (firmly classified in his mind as just horsing around) but apart from locker room chat and the occasional movie scene he really doesn't know that much about it. How do you decide who does what even? He looks round again at big, dominant, alpha male Sean in his office and resists the temptation to put his head in his hands.

That hasn't helped one bit. Perhaps he should write a second list, with the positives on.

On a second sheet Nick writes three lines very quickly and is gazing at them thoughtfully when Sean's office door opens.

"Nick, a word please. There are a couple of aspects of this case I'd like to talk over with you."

Nick heads into the office. He's done this a thousand times before but he's never felt quite so conscious of putting one foot in front of another, of the other detectives around him. He goes into the office, shutting the door, and sits on the very edge of one of the visitor's chairs.

"So, er, Captain, what were the aspects of the case you er, wanted to discuss?"

Sean gives him an odd look, "I was thinking the aspect where we threw our arms around each other and didn't let go for quite a long time."

Oh, that aspect.

Sean leans forward, "Nick, I won't be finished here for a while but I could see you were looking more and more uncomfortable out there. Are you ok?"

Yes, no, he doesn't know. Because he's just not sure what else to do he gives Sean his notebook.

                                                            ***

Sean looks at the list Nick has handed to him and feels an actual physical pain as he reads it.

_1\. Sean is my boss._

_2\. Sean is the male version of a hexenbiest and I think hexenbiests are devious, deceitful and dangerous._

_3\. Sean is also Royal and l think they are devious, deceitful and dangerous too. _

_4\. Sean was obsessed with my girlfriend, admittedly as the result of a spell._

_5\. Sean probably slept with Juliette after she left me._

_6\. Sean tried to have one of my closest relatives killed._

_7\. My child and Sean's child have the same mother._

_8\. Sean is a man._

There are some things on the list he can only agree with (2, 3 and 4 he notes, trying to maintain his calm), things he can do nothing about but does regret (5 and 6), things he thinks they can work round (1 and 7). And then there's 8, definitely nothing he can do about that.

There are so many things Sean wants to say but it feels as though his face has frozen. They've come so close, the feel of Nick's arms around him was so good, the quiet words they'd said to each other. He had felt an absolute certainty that this was right. He puts the notebook down on his desk, tries to speak but nothing comes out.

Nick leans forward, pushes the notebook back towards him. "Turn the page."

On the next page Nick has written,

_1\. Sean is who I think about when I jack off._

_2\. I take every chance I can to spend time with him._

_3\. Nothing has ever felt so right as holding him did._

Sean looks at Nick steadily, finally finds his voice,

"You have to decide which page matters more. I know how I feel, what I want, but if you feel there are just too many problems then I will have to learn to live with that."

Nick takes the notebook back, selects a page and tears it out. He hands it to Sean,

"Put that one through your shredder."

Sean looks down at the list, the eight items on it. He opens his drawer, feeds the sheet into the machine.

Nick places his notebook, open at the page with the three lines written on it, on the desk, his hand lying across it. Sean moves his hand forward so that the tips of their fingers just touch.

"I'll be finished in an hour or so. Have dinner with me - we can get takeout if you like, my place or yours.

\------------------------------

 They have Thai takeout at Sean's. Eating together is nothing new in itself - when he was so lost in misery he couldn't be bothered to eat, Sean would sometimes order Nick to follow him home or to a restaurant and make him have a decent meal. More recently they have occasionally eaten together after training with the Grimm weapons or at the end of a long day at the precinct.

They sit side by side on the couch, the cartons on the table in front of them. Nick hasn't realised quite how hungry he is and at first eating takes all his attention. When they finish Sean stands, clears away the cartons to the kitchen and returns to the couch with another beer for Nick, a glass of wine for himself. He sits.

Now that Nick's hunger is sated he is more aware of other thoughts, other feelings. He is also very aware of the big man next to him. Sean is sitting, slightly turned towards him, green eyes watchful. Nick is fairly sure that Sean is more experienced in this particular situation than him but also that Sean is waiting for him to make the first move. He takes a very deep breath, slides along the couch and reaches his hand up to Sean.

Their lips meet, it does feel odd to be kissing someone taller, to feel the slight scrape of stubble but it also feels very good. They kiss for quite a while, tasting each other's mouths, exploring lips. When Sean sucks at his lower lip he feels a distinct stirring in his groin. It is slightly awkward sitting side by side and Sean pulls him round so that he's straddling him.

They kiss again, Nick's hands in Sean's hair (oh, how he's wanted to do that), Sean's hands on his back, warm through the thin fabric of his shirt. As Nick moves even closer he can feel that Sean is aroused, realises how hard he is himself. They break apart for a moment and look at each other. Sean asks, rather breathlessly,

"You want to leave it there for tonight or take it into the bedroom?"

Nick stands up, holds out his hand.

 

It's a little weird again when they get upstairs, the awkward business of shoes and socks, kissing standing up and realising just how tall Sean is. He unbuttons Sean's shirt, runs his hand across the smooth chest, small tight nipples. Still weird - but very, very arousing. They undress each other until they are standing together naked. They move to the bed.

It has been a long day and tonight is not the night for anything fancy, just hot bodies pressed together, a large hand around their hard flesh, saying each other's names as they find release. They fall asleep wrapped around each other and Nick discovers that the weight of a heavier, larger body next to him doesn't feel weird at all.

 

Sean has a later start than Nick so he goes down to make breakfast while Nick showers and dresses (fortunately he keeps a clean shirt and underwear in the emergency bag in his car so no 'shirt from the day before' embarrassment at the precinct). They eat breakfast and Nick gets ready to leave. It's a little uncomfortable for a moment, neither quite sure how to do this. Sean says, in a deliberately casual voice,

"I'll see you later at the precinct but would you like to get together tonight?"

"Yeah, how about a weapons session in the forest and then dinner?

"Sounds good to me."

Nick heads for the door, puts his hand on the handle, suddenly turns and walks back to Sean. He pulls Sean down to him and kisses him long and hard, pushing him back against the kitchen island. When he lets go Sean looks a little stunned. Nick grins,

"See you later!"

He heads off for the precinct, a spring in his step.

***

Sean goes straight upstairs for a shower (should probably be a cold one) and to dress. It's only when he comes back downstairs and goes to get his keys that he sees the piece of paper lying on the kitchen counter. It's the list, torn from Nick's notebook. It's rather longer than he remembers and he picks it up and reads.

_1\. Sean is who I think about when I jack off._

_2\. I take every chance I can to spend time with him._

_3\. Nothing has ever felt so right as holding him did._

_4\. Sean is a great kisser and very hot in bed._

_5\. Sean makes really good scrambled eggs._

_6\. Sean is the man I'm falling in love with._

Sean folds the paper in half and after a moments thought puts it carefully in a drawer. He smiles, picks up his keys and goes to work.


End file.
